I would like to share a reflection on the feeling of freedom/ability to express myself in music.
I became possessed with these skills when was 16 to 17 (1977) years old. I demonstrated this kind of playing to other students and teachers at my school. Most were thinking at that time that I was a lazy composer, preparing the music before.
But it was no so. In this time the music was so strong in my head (dreaming, imagination), that it was even difficult to sleep. This was autocommunication.
In 1981 I started to teach improvisation at the music school in Tallinn (the same music special secondary school where I had graduated). One of my 7 to 8 year students was a real “wunderkind”! He was able to, during the improvisation, directly gain technical skills! In normal development this would take five or more years to develop. We demonstrated this duo free improvisation in many different seminars for teachers and in other cities and music schools in Estonia. This was a communication in music language!
This process was abruptly stopped 1984. I was forced to join the army.
Now reflecting afterwards I understand that both – the feeling of freedom to express myself and communication with other musicians/dancers /etc… has decisive power in developing my way. Turning away from the traditional way of a concert pianist, composer and teacher, step by step I started to “invite” other musicians to my way! Now it is 30 years from the first steps and its clearer thinking/vision and much easier and powerful to do this process.